Sex

Children’s sexual questions and how to answer them

One of the questions that concern parents’ minds is how to answer their children’s questions and curiosities about sexual issues. Some parents do not have the courage to answer these questions. These parents justify their work by saying that knowing these questions will open their child’s eyes and ears.

If some parents answer these questions, they either provide more information that is not suitable for the child’s age, or they are not honest in expressing these things. Some people use shame and modesty as an excuse to avoid this important task, but you should know that a child’s sexual questions start at the age of four or five, and this is one of the natural stages of his sexual development, and if he does not answer correctly, his sexual curiosity will increase. And yet, he may be wrong.

In sex education, it is very important for the parents to understand the child’s condition and they should not ignore their sexual awakening or scare the child with extreme advice.

Parents should know and be aware that although sexual maturity occurs at ages higher than primary school, sexual desires and the questions surrounding them are not only specific to the period of puberty, but long before that, they emerged in a special emotional way in the child, and many of the child’s inappropriate habits which remains hidden from the eyes of parents, is formed in this period.

Sex education is different from sex education

The most common question that parents ask psychologists and sexual counselors is, what is the difference between sex education and sex education, and how can you give a simple and logical answer to a child’s sexual questions?

Kobri Imannejad, senior expert in general psychology, answers these questions:

Sex education is different from sex education. Sexual education is the description of the details of sexual relationships and stages, but what is involved in sexual education is providing a collection of physical, psychological, social and religious information about sexual issues or providing the necessary information about issues that are related to the child’s sexual instinct, and education It starts from the first years of a child’s life. In these years, the child should be taught issues that may not be related to sex education, but later these same things will help him in sexual relationships and interactions.

The child’s sex question needs a simple answer

The right age to make a child aware of sexual issues is when he asks about sex, and it starts differently in children. According to parents, the first and most important question that a child asks is how a child is created and born?

In response, Imannejad says: We should not lie to our child or leave his question unanswered. Parents who do not answer the child’s sex question or tell the child that they took him from the hospital or bought him from someone or brought him from somewhere, or those who insinuate that the child is created by eating something from the parents and growing up in the mother’s womb, causes They cause fear and apprehension in the child and make his mind sick.

Tell the story like this

You can take the help of a psychologist to present a logical story or explain to your child in a child’s language that when parents want to have a child, they ask God together to give them a child. God also puts a beautiful child in the mother’s womb. That child will grow up in the mother’s womb for 9 months and after this time will be born in the hospital by a doctor, but maybe the child will ask why fathers don’t give birth to children? Again, you can say in childish language that God created the bodies of parents differently and only mothers can give birth to children.

If the child realizes the gender differences

Another sexual question is that when the child realizes the differences in the anatomy of his body compared to the other sex, how should we treat him?

Imannejad says that when a child asks his parents about this difference, it is a good opportunity to let him know his gender identity. but how? This psychologist says, ask your child to pay attention to the differences in the appearance of his parents or siblings, then tell him that these differences exist in all parts of our body and that this was God’s will.
Five-six years old is the child’s clean age and he can recognize the type of gender and to some extent understand the difference between a girl and a boy. If we do not appreciate the sexual curiosity of the child and do not inform the child of his sexual differences, he will develop false ideas in his mind, and if we entrust the identification of these differences to the child himself, the child will find lonely and lonely places under various pretexts and examine the body. they pay each other

Distract the child

“When the child acquires the ability to move and touch and explore his body, he also discovers his genitals. It is completely normal and will disappear as the child grows up.”

This is what Imannejad says and he continues that parents should not fight and embarrass the child while gaining these experiences, but should keep away from anything that draws the child’s attention to this area and its importance and meaning.

The child’s sexual activities or questions during this period are not caused by his true sexual feeling, but a feeling similar to that of adults, but it is false, and its stimulation leads to early sexual maturity and the development of inappropriate habits in the child.
Emphasizing that some children, especially boys, turn to sexual curiosities in kindergarten, school or when they find a quiet place at home, this psychologist says: parents or guardians and coaches should fully supervise the games and performance of children and Gentle behavior and by diverting the child’s mind, gradually limit his sexual behaviors and games.

According to the advice of psychologists and religious experts, pay attention to these points before the child’s inappropriate habits appear:

Change the baby’s clothes and diapers in private places away from others. If the child notices his genitals, distract him. Do not take a boy and a girl to the bathroom at the same time and keep your underwear on while bathing the child.

If the children were playing in a secluded place, visit that place under various pretexts so that they know that nowhere is completely safe and unsupervised. Separate children’s beds from each other. Avoid wearing tight and stimulating clothes. Avoid any sexual behavior in front of the child and avoid expressing strong emotions.

Caressing has its limits

Some psychologists believe that in many cases, parents unconsciously stimulate their children with inappropriate caresses.

Imannejad says that with all the attention that Islam has paid to the emotional development and strengthening of children, it has taken care of them from around the age of puberty.
Touching and caressing the groin, crotch and other sensitive parts of the body is exciting for the child and increases and continues the possibility of seeking pleasure. It teaches and is the source of the emergence of emotions, but if it exceeds the limit, it becomes dangerous and is one of the factors that can cause the early onset of sexual maturity and the emergence of inappropriate habits in a child.

From the point of view of some psychological theories, children are ready to receive sexual pleasures from birth and their sexual behaviors are being formed since then.

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