What are the most important factors that cause sexual problems among couples?
Although we are witnessing significant scientific and technical developments in our era, unfortunately, men, especially in our society, still adhere to some traditional beliefs and are not willing to take serious action regarding their sexual problems. It can be seen that coldness is one of the most common among them. Sexual reluctance or coldness is a state in which a person, whether a woman or a man, loses his sexual imagination and desire to engage in sexual activity.
Roxana Khoshabi; The senior consultant wrote: This reluctance may appear from the beginning of puberty, or it may be normal during puberty, but it develops in the long term. Sometimes this sexual reluctance is only directed at one’s wife and does not include others, which of course has its own reasons. Some people think that sexual reluctance is only for women, but this is not the case and men also suffer from this disorder.
Types of coldness in women
Cold temper in women is usually divided into two categories, natural and unnatural. In 90% of cases of natural coldness, the main cause of coldness is the incompetence of a man who is the husband of a cold-tempered woman. It is often a man who does not know how to prepare a woman to reach the peak of pleasure.
A man should act artistically and delicately in bringing a woman to the climax of sex and ejaculation and should be aware of the details of the structure of the woman’s body. Unfortunately, most men have little information about sexual relations with women, and they only consider sexual relations as a practice for fertility and pregnancy, and they do not pay attention to other aspects of the relationship, especially the sexual satisfaction of the other party. This can cause a woman’s sexual coldness in their joint life and lead to other inconsistencies and conflicts. In this field, counselors and psychologists can help the couple.
Abnormal coldness is related to the woman herself and is mostly seen in women who are dissatisfied with their gender, or consider sexual act to be dirty or bad and animalistic in an extreme way, or they were brought up in such a way that they are afraid of sexual intercourse. In fact, fear of sexual issues, fear of submission, fear of physical pain and injury, fear of pregnancy, etc. are among the things that bring coldness. Absolute and incurable cold temper is rarely seen and fortunately all these cases can be cured to a great extent with counseling and psychotherapy.
Sexual reluctance due to other problems
Even though we are witnessing significant scientific and technical developments in our era, unfortunately, men, especially in our society, still adhere to some traditional beliefs and are not willing to take serious action regarding their sexual problems and deny or deny their sexual problems. They cover up.
For this reason, most men who have impotence, have problems with sexual stimulation, or suffer from premature ejaculation or other sexual disorders do not seek treatment. As a result, their failure in sexual intercourse gradually leads to another sexual disorder at the same time. For example, men who suffer from impotence and erectile dysfunction, if they do not treat it, they gradually lose their desire for marital relations, and a new problem called sexual coldness and sexual reluctance is also added to the problems. They are added.
Also, marital incompatibility is one of the other causes that may inhibit and suppress sexual desire in men. Unfortunately, all kinds of mental pressures and stresses are also considered as other important causes in the reduction of sexual desire in men. Job and economic stress, sleep disorders, the stress of giving birth to an unwanted child, and the like make a person reluctant to have sex.
Sometimes the use of certain medicines, cigarettes, alcohol and drugs lead to sexual reluctance in men. Getting older and having a wife who is also cold in terms of sex are among other factors that naturally cause a gradual decrease in sexual desire in men. From a statistical point of view, it can be said that temporary impotence occurs in approximately 50% of men, and chronic impotence affects one out of every eight people, and this type of disorder increases with age in men.
About 52% of men between the ages of 40-70 experience different degrees of impotence or the inability to maintain an erection. The important point is that male impotence can be classified into two primary and secondary groups. Men with primary erectile dysfunction never have enough erections to be able to have sex. But in the second type of sexual weakness, the erection disappears after a normal period. The treatment of the second type is much simpler and in some cases it can be treated with drug therapy and often with counseling and psychotherapy.
Diseases such as depression, anxiety, diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, pelvic surgeries, cancers, thyroid gland problems, some neurological diseases, etc. are among the diseases that should be considered in the treatment of coldness.
Treatment of sexual reluctance in women
One of the effective treatment methods for women’s cold temper includes the use of correct methods in the way of life and communication with the spouse. Adjusting and changing lifestyle includes exercising regularly, getting enough rest, learning stress control methods, and avoiding smoking, drugs, and alcohol. Another method that can be used to treat this condition is to strengthen the pelvic muscles using the “Kegel” method.
In this method, the person tightens his pelvic muscles, so that he wants to stop himself from urinating and counts to five, then relaxes the muscles and repeats this action again. Some underlying diseases that a person is suffering from can cause coldness in women.
For this reason, attention should be paid to the medical and psychological issues of the patient. Diseases such as depression, anxiety, diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, pelvic surgeries, cancers, thyroid gland problems, some neurological diseases, etc. are among the diseases that should be considered in the treatment of coldness.
Also, paying attention to other factors such as age, pregnancy, menopause and the use of some drugs, which can be a side effect of reducing sexual desire, are effective in the occurrence of this complication. Another way to treat women’s cold-tempered disorder is to prescribe some medicines by the attending physician. Drug treatments, including the use of female hormones estrogen and progesterone, in women who have problems related to these two important female hormones, is one of the methods of treating women’s cold temper. Of course, they should be consumed under the supervision of a specialist.
Sexual reluctance in men
In most cases, sexual reluctance or cold temper in men has a psychological origin and cause, but it may also occur due to physical diseases. In men with sexual reluctance, if there is no obvious disease such as cardiovascular disease, chronic pain, etc. in men with a cold temperament, a specialist doctor should check the gonads, pituitary gland and thyroid for possible hormonal disorders.
Therefore, if this problem occurs, men should first examine the issue from a physical point of view, and if there is no physical problem, it is necessary to examine psychiatric diseases such as depression and anxiety disorders in them.