The most important factor in a couple’s divorce is sexual dissatisfaction. What are the ways we can prevent this? What are the suggestions of counselors and psychologists to prevent the rising divorce rate?
Every hour, 19 divorces occur in Iran, one of the most important reasons for which is the increase in marital problems. An issue that may be overshadowed by reasons such as addiction, unemployment, and the economic problems of divorce, but is becoming more pervasive.
Sexual dissatisfaction in marital relationships is one of the important issues that has led to real and emotional divorces among groups in society that are less talked about and managed. Lack of education in the family and premarital period to have a healthy and satisfying marital relationship, and most importantly, lack of attention to the role of these relationships in strengthening the family is one of the reasons that now, with the gap between couples, emotional divorces and finally real divorces Has figured out.
Dr. Amir Mahmoud Haririchi, a sociologist, has studied the causes and effects of divorces due to problems in sexual relations in Iran and says: Emotional divorce is closely related to sexual dissatisfaction and couples who are not satisfied with their marital relationship, over time They collapse the foundation of the family.
Cold temper is critical in a marital relationship
“One of the first signs of the onset of emotional divorce in a family can be a dramatic decline in marital relationships between couples,” said the sociologist, noting that in this type of separation, the decline in sex can be assessed by emotional divorce. In this situation, men and women are in a parallel line in terms of emotions and love for each other, but they do not hug each other in terms of marital relations, and thus their love and affection for each other gradually decreases. Haririchi considers one of the effective reasons for sexual divorce to be the cold temper of the couple and emphasizes: cold temper diminishes the joy and happiness of living together and leaves irreparable consequences in the common life and may even lead to violence and separation. But the fact that men need to be aware of is that the vast majority of women’s cold temper is their husbands. Therefore, in order to have a sustainable life, they must acquire the necessary training and skills to be able to meet the needs and desires of their women. He continues: Couples should look for cold reasons in order to reduce the coldness of their marital relationship. One of the most effective ways to prevent a virtual cold is for couples to see a therapist for treatment of sexual reluctance, and a man or woman should never say to another, “You have a problem, so see a therapist yourself and I “You will not come.” In other words, in dealing with marital disorders, the mutual effects on both sides must be examined, and if we want warmth and happiness to return to our lives, it is with couple therapy, not individual therapy.
Women should be aware of their rights
“Educated women are aware of the enjoyment of their own marital relationship.” “Most educated women are aware that a woman’s job is not just to be a housewife, a husband and a child, but to go to counseling centers when her husband does not meet her sexual needs,” Haririchi said. To solve the problem. Of course, it should be noted that in some cases, men do not admit that the problem is on their part, in which case, men quickly provide the ground for colds, excuses and hatred of the marital relationship in their wives. He states: “One of the factors that affect sexual satisfaction is tradition, because the attitudes of some families about sexual issues are such that they may limit or prohibit female sexual desire. Even in some cases, when women raise the issue of satisfaction, the husband stigmatizes her as immoral, which gradually makes other women reluctant to have a marital relationship. In this situation, there is a so-called emotional divorce between couples, which means that couples live together for years, but do not have an emotional relationship with each other, and as a result of this thinking and way of life, for many years, the relationship between couples is formal and forced. remains.
Culture and lack of communication skills cause sexual dissatisfaction
Haririchi, stating that another effective factor in the occurrence of sexual dissatisfaction is the cultural factors governing couples, adds: Incorrect cultural beliefs such as the superiority of men over women and sexual aggression are among the factors that can lead to sexual incompatibility and incompatibility between couples. . Today, issues such as poor nutrition, bodybuilding drugs and chemicals are among the factors that can affect sexual health. Under these circumstances, men’s sexual desire usually decreases and causes low sexual satisfaction for women, which ultimately endangers their cohabitation. The sociologist adds: “Another factor in causing colds and sexual reluctance in couples is smoking or using drugs, so that addicted people have decreased sexual desire and are no longer able to reach orgasm because many drugs Biological effects are harmful to human sexual desire and ability. Couples often suffer from a lack of communication skills in these cases, which deprives them of effective communication.
Take the treatment of sexual problems seriously
Haririchi points to ways to reduce sexual divorce in families and says: “One of the solutions that can help couples in cohabitation is the issue of premarital education that can keep the marital relationship alive.” At a time when recounting what percentage of divorces are due to sexual dissatisfaction, it is still taboo among officials that this view should be changed by government institutions so that they can consider various programs for this problem. The next solution is to recognize the capacities. Primarily as a prevention, one should know and be aware of one’s sexual issues before marriage. Couples can acquire sexual skills by training and being aware of these capacities. Everyone should have a glimpse of their needs and be aware of their sexual expectations of cohabitation. If people do not pay attention to the quality of their relationship, they will have a crisis in the long run. Emphasizing that negligence in the treatment of sexual problems is not justifiable, Haririchi points out: Cessation of sexual issues in a marital relationship is certainly a two-way affair, and usually one couple’s sexual problems cause excuses, annoyances, reluctance and distance between couples. It becomes. As a result, the treatment of sexual problems and the elimination of colds should be seriously pursued in couples who see problems in themselves, so that the process of emotional and real divorces caused by sexual problems is declining.