Go to counseling to solve your doubts or sexual problems and ask your questions.
When we encounter a problem in marital matters, the first step is to recognize the problem. There are many who do not want to think about the issue at all, let alone look for a solution for it!
When I was working at the family health clinic of Mustafa Khomeini Hospital, we had a couple who had been married for 10 years and still had not been able to have a relationship. Unlike many couples that break up within a few months, they were so interested in each other that they decided to continue their lives together. They had even tried IVF to conceive a child and had not succeeded.
Who is responsible for this? Who should teach a couple who want to start their life under the same roof how to behave? Who should they turn to if there is a problem? To general doctors who have not heard a single word about sexual health during 7 years of education and various courses, from parasitology to forensic medicine?
To gynecologists or urologists? Do they know what to do with these patients? Isn’t the infertility center where the couple did IVF full of these specialists? How many general doctors, gynecologists, urologists, psychiatrists or psychologists are there in Iran who can really help their clients in these fields?
Basically, in this day and age, does anyone consider himself responsible for teaching young boys and girls who want to enter a new world, which is not less than a wonderland for them? Cohabitation, what is missing from that wonderland? And if we think that we should not talk about this with our children, lest the veils of modesty be torn, or the children move their heads and ears; And we leave everything in the hands of fate, which friend or which website or which book will give our children the right or wrong information; Did it solve a problem? Or has it caused a thousand problems?
The missing link of education in sexual health
The biggest help families give to a young boy or girl who wants to get married is to bargain and raise and lower the dowry, or leave money in the middle for engagement and wedding expenses; And they will always be happy that I threw such a party for my beloved that so-and-so was left speechless and his eyes filled with tears.
Maybe no one is guilty. Who taught parents what to teach their children? Link to link is added to the chain of ignorance. But let’s not forget that these ignorances do not diminish our responsibility as parents, teachers or government officials.
“Let’s change”
first step:
Let’s not be ashamed of ourselves
When we encounter a problem in marital matters, the first step is to recognize the problem. There are many who do not want to think about the issue at all, let alone look for a solution for it! Marital issues are important. They should not be ignored. Sometimes, like a snowball, a small problem becomes bigger and bigger with the passage of time and even brings a marriage to a dead end.
Second step:
Don’t be ashamed of your wife
Every person’s wife should be the closest person to him. It is correct to think that some issues should not be said because the boundaries will be broken; But it is not an example of sexual issues. Of course, the way of expressing the problem is important. Even the best words, if we say them in a bad way, may bring disaster. In matrimonial matters, the matter should be discussed with the spouse in a respectful manner and with a positive tone, not blaming or teasing.
The third step:
Do not be ashamed of the consultant
There are not many doctors or psychologists who specialize in treating sexual problems. But it is not a reason not to look for them. It is important that you and your spouse have the will to solve the problem. If you want it to be solved, if you put time and energy into it, it will eventually be solved. The first counselor may not be able to help; But you should not be disappointed. In our country and even in the whole world, sex therapy is a new field. In the field of sexual health counseling, there are few experienced people; But they are not rare. If you find one, trust him and know that the treatment of these problems is often simple, but it takes time.
