Premature puberty occurs in some families who are unrestrained in sexual matters and do not observe such issues in front of their children and adolescents.
One of the hot topics that is being quoted in some circles these days and different comments are being made about the age range of young people getting married. From marriage proposal for high school girls to marriage over 30-40 years. But the question is, is it too early for all high school girls to get married early and all 30-40 year olds to get married? How to determine the real age of marriage? Is it possible to ignore other factors that play a role in starting a life together only by reaching physical maturity?
In this regard, many experts and psychologists believe that the “age of marriage” should be based on the three principles of physical maturity, mental maturity and social maturity. Physical maturity refers to the period of a person’s ability to reproduce, which begins for girls from about 12 to 14 years old and for boys from about 14 to 16 years old. Psychological maturity is a term that psychiatrists refer to as personality development. Legally, mental maturity is also known as growth.
But the difference between psychologists and jurists in this regard is that jurists are minimal enough and believe that it is only enough to be able to discern one’s interests, but psychiatrists and generally the psychological schools believe that one should be personality-capable. Maturity and growth to a point where not only does he know enough about himself and can discern his interests, but he also gets enough knowledge about the person he intends to marry.
What is meant by social maturity?
Social maturity means the ability to manage the affairs of the family, spouse and children. This requires meeting the economic, health, scientific, educational, and other necessities of life so that one can provide housing and the minimum needs of the family. But at what age are these characteristics usually acquired?
The answer is that it depends on the individual. A person may find the above areas together at the age of 20. While another person at an older age can not reach them. The same is true for women. A young girl may have reached full physical growth by the age of 14 to 15, but her mental and personality development is not perfect, and her ability to have a good relationship with her husband, children, those around her, and the new family she joins means The family does not have a husband. In this case, the consequences extend not only to the individual and the family but also to society. A society that needs active, knowledgeable, mature and capable people. Therefore, we do not only consider the age of the identity card as the primary and main criterion for starting a family or marriage, but we must also evaluate the intellectual and perceptual age of the party.
Of course, it should be noted that we do not approve of criticism and strictness and that people think that they should first provide all the facilities and complete all the courses, have a lucrative job and then get married. Talk about minimums. If a person can achieve personality, social, economic and other abilities, he can get married, which can happen at any age.
The best age for marriage for a girl and a boy
Marriage is instinctive for a girl and a boy. Whenever this instinct and nature and age, intellectual and social development awakens and the girl and boy need to get married within them; This is the time for that person to get married.
This need for marriage is mostly after the legal age of puberty for a girl and a boy. But the timing of this need varies from person to person. If a young person has reached “physical maturity” and “mental maturity”, he is ready for marriage. In believing and intelligent people, this physical and mental maturity is achieved sooner. So the age of marriage is a relative thing that is different in different people, different societies.
We present here the conditions that bring a person to the age of marriage, which must be in every girl and boy in order for a marriage to be successful. It should also be noted that setting the age for marriage and wrapping a prescription for all people is wrong because everyone at a certain age has these conditions.
Necessary conditions to reach the age of marriage:
1) Physical growth:
Girls and boys must reach physical maturity. That is, girls and boys have sexual ability. Research shows that girls are most likely to reach puberty between the ages of 13 and 14, and that all girls will reach puberty by the age of 17, and that all boys will reach puberty by the age of 14 to 17.
The first condition for marriage is the same sexual maturity, which is generally achieved in girls at the age of 15 and in boys at the age of 16. Sexual maturity means that the sexual organs of a girl and a boy are ready for marital issues. In other words, sexual maturity is a person’s physiological and instinctual desires, and marriage is an answer to desires, and the greater the distance between these two questions and answers, the more psychological complications there are.
2) Intellectual development:
Certainly, when a person has not reached the intellectual development necessary to choose a spouse, he can not decide to marry and may not have the power to determine the expediency or corruption in marrying the person in question. Intellectual development develops after physical maturity. After puberty crises, a person becomes better aware of his or her talents, abilities, and environmental possibilities, and becomes more aware of his or her personality. As a result, his decisions stem more from reason than from emotion.
3) Emotional growth:
Emotional growth is a prerequisite for marriage and has many benefits. One of the most important factors for success in married life is that it is the driving force of human beings, the factor of connection and softening of human beings and societies. A person with emotional development is in control of his negative and positive emotions. He acts in the expression of society, in expressing anger and fear, crying and joy, love, etc., not like a child. Emotional development, like intellectual development, is not a chronological age, but is learned by the amount of learning, the individual’s experiences, and most importantly, the child’s emotional interaction with parents and other adults.
4) Social growth:
Social development is closely related to intellectual development and emotional development. Man has four social worlds: family, school, job, and friends in which one must be socially evaluated. A person with social development better understands social relationships (including the relationship between husband and wife), respects others, respects the rights of others, and performs his or her roles, duties, and responsibilities well. Gives.
5) Moral growth:
Marital relationships, like any other social relationship between human beings, take into account the moral and spiritual values of men and women, which lead to happiness and spirituality in their lives. Many matters and issues of married life can be solved within the framework of morality and moral virtues, and the more a couple is created with morality and good behavior such as honesty and forgiveness, righteousness and sacrifice, زندگی their life will be healthier and more peaceful.
If a girl and a boy have these conditions, they can get married. Of course, regions, environments, communities, generations, races, tribes, families and individuals (individual differences) are not the same in this regard, but have differences, for example, in “tropical” lands sexual maturity Arrives earlier than “cold” areas; And in open and crowded environments where women, men, girls and boys are more involved, and in non-religious and unrestrained environments where the issues of mahram and non-mahram and hijab and chastity are less observed, sexual maturity arrives sooner than In religious and clean environments and with chastity and adherence to sharia law; And in rude and uncivilized families who do not observe the protection of sexual issues and children may witness sexual issues (verbal and non-verbal) of their parents, sexual maturity occurs earlier than families that do. . The quantity and quality of food also affects this issue; Those who eat more and stronger food reach puberty faster.
Statistics and research show that the best age for marriage is 19 for boys and 16 for girls. Of course, this is a middle age. A boy or a girl may need a spouse sooner, which should be taken. In the matter of marriage, we should not pay more attention to economic issues and delay marriage, which, if delayed, should lead to corruption and prostitution in society.
If the young man can not get married when he gets married, he will satisfy himself in sexual ways under psychological and psychological pressures. Research shows that if young people are well educated, they will have a happier life after marriage, and the children of those who marry at the stated ages will be healthier and smarter, and will have better communication with their children in the future at a younger age. Had.