Sex

Identify ten factors of sexual dissatisfaction

In this section, we have examined ten effective factors in reducing sexual desire and satisfaction. Follow us to get to know them more.

In a study of the relationship between psychological and family factors in the sexual satisfaction of Iranian married people, researchers showed that, in general, 30% of people were completely satisfied with their sexual relationship, 4% were not satisfied at all, and 14% did sexual activity only for the satisfaction of their spouse. Therefore, it can be said that in our society, most people are not satisfied with their sexual relationship. What are the most important factors of this dissatisfaction?

Nahid Lotfimaher, a senior expert in psychology, wrote: Maybe by knowing them, we can try to increase and treat our sexual satisfaction. Of course, these factors are considered more important depending on the needs of people and also gender differences, in certain people and gender.
Troubled family relationships: In married life, gradually and for various reasons, which are beyond the scope of this discussion, we witness the creation of tension and confusion in family relationships between men and women. As this confusion intensifies, the level of sexual satisfaction of the parties decreases; Because this confusion is associated with creating negative feelings towards each other and also reducing the number of times of sexual intercourse.
Ignoring each other’s desires and needs: Men and women have huge differences in sex, and due to some couples not being aware of each other’s needs, at least one of the parties cannot get enough pleasure from sex. Unfortunately, for various reasons, the parties, especially women, refuse to express these needs; which causes a decrease in the desire and amount of sexual intercourse and ultimately lowers sexual satisfaction.
The effect of everyday issues and problems: Due to having a lot of warmth and heat at the beginning of life, couples attach great importance to their sexual relationship and to gain satisfaction from it, and they spend a lot of time to increase sexual pleasure, but gradually, it is resolved in daily life such as employment, education, parenting, etc. Sex gradually fades and loses its value.
Lack of sexual information: In our society, sexual issues are considered taboo. Therefore, people receive little and even wrong information from the very beginning of their childhood. With a large amount of incomplete and wrong information, they unknowingly enter into marital sex, which results in a low-quality relationship. Although this process will be corrected over time and with experience, its initial effects will reduce sexual satisfaction in married life.
Weak emotional relationship with spouse: Some people, especially men, summarize the marital relationship only in the act of complete sex, while emotional connection during the joint life is necessary and necessary to increase sexual desire and satisfaction. It means that people cannot have a good sexual relationship and get satisfaction from it without having a good emotional relationship.

The appearance of guilt during intercourse: Some people mistakenly summarize the function of sex only in reproduction and consider this act as ugly and indecent, which should only be done out of necessity. These extreme thoughts make them not feel pleasure and satisfaction during and after sexual intercourse.

Not having a prelude: Men and women are not sensitive to the prerequisites of a good sexual relationship in the opposite person due to the differences they have in sexual matters. One of these cases, especially in women, is the importance of foreplay; It means that men should do foreplay before having sex. This is despite the fact that this simple but important principle is not followed by many men and it leads to a decrease in sexual satisfaction, especially in women.
Harassing sexual requests: Sometimes, due to his direct and indirect experiences, such as watching various movies or friends’ conversations, one of the spouses tends to experience the same act or learned sexual position in the sexual relationship with his wife. This is despite the fact that people sometimes cannot fulfill some requests due to individual differences; However, in order to gain the satisfaction of their spouse, they give in to it. This happens over and over again causing harassment and reducing sexual satisfaction.
Fear of satisfying the wife: Among some spouses, one of the parties pays less attention to receiving and satisfying his sexual needs due to excessive mental preoccupation and concern for the proper and sufficient satisfaction of his spouse and only considers the needs of the other party. This factor, in addition to not achieving the goal, that is, often the other party is not satisfied due to too much worry, also causes a decrease in sexual satisfaction.

Unfavorable experiences in the first sex: Some people think that after marriage, they must experience the first sex completely. This issue puts a lot of psychological pressure on the parties. Due to this psychological pressure, the relationship is not established properly and with pleasure, and it leaves a bad memory for them (especially for women) and they may doubt their own sexual ability (especially for men). These things will cause them to lose sex and other problems in their marital relationship will arise from this one experience.

Sepideh Danai magazine

March 18, 2013 19:44

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