Sex

Important notes about sex during engagement

The period of engagement is the best period of people’s life, the pleasure of which cannot be compared to the period after marriage.

During the engagement period, whether you read the marriage contract or formal marriage, in any case, you have one main goal. Getting to know each other and finding out if you are a good match together or not. It cannot be denied that part of this recognition is created in the shadow of love. Another part is the knowledge that you basically get by getting close to each other. Like knowing about sexual tendencies, sexual attractions and in a word the sexual compatibility you have with your partner. In this situation, how should you have a relationship with your fiancee so that it does not hinder you from getting to know each other? Unbridled sexual intercourse can affect your knowledge and make the place of mood and lust in your relationship so strong that you forget to get to know each other and reach an understanding. .

For most of the people who are engaged, there is a serious question: How close are we allowed to be? In this period, should we act like husband and wife or like friends or strangers?

It is very difficult to keep boundaries during the engagement period. On the one hand, strong interest and desire to discover each other attracts you to each other, and on the other hand, you still have doubts about your future together and do not know whether this engagement will end up living under the same roof or not.
During the engagement period, whether you read the marriage contract or formal marriage, in any case, you have one main goal. Getting to know each other and finding out if you are a good match together or not. It cannot be denied that part of this recognition is created in the shadow of love. For example, how much you forgive each other, how much you can express your feelings to each other, and how much the language of your feelings is the same.
Another part is the knowledge that you basically get by getting close to each other. Like knowing about sexual tendencies, sexual attractions and in a word the sexual compatibility you have with your partner. In this situation, how should you have a relationship with your fiance so that it does not prevent you from getting to know each other?
Unbridled sex can affect your knowledge and make the position of mood and lust in your relationship so strong that you forget to know each other and reach understanding.

how do you see

Different people have different views on sex (we mean any kind of affectionate physical intimacy, not full sexual contact). For some people, sex is a way to become more intimate. Some consider sex to be a commitment and some consider it the final stage of intimacy. Depending on which of these you approach a sexual relationship, your desire for a relationship will differ.

* If you consider sex to be a commitment (which it is), by having sex you subconsciously feel that you have to continue this engagement anyway. Because you have let a person into the most private part of your life and you have experienced a pleasure with him that you are not ready to experience with anyone else. So, even if you see any discrepancies during engagement, you will ignore it.

* If you see sex as a way to become more intimate, it means that you have surrendered yourself to the romantic emotions that you got with this relationship. The pleasure you get from this relationship doesn’t allow you to see the pain you get from the other person at other times. Despite the differences you have or the annoyances that arise between you, you have an effective key that opens any lock. The key is sex. In the shade of this closeness and the joy you experience together, you will feel a spiritual closeness, you will forget all the differences for a short time, and you may even notice your individual differences (which you are engaged to know at all ) ignore. Result?! Once you open your eyes and see that a few years ago, your sex relationship is not as passionate as when you were engaged, and now all you see is the difference, distance, and a war of nerves! By then it is too late because you are living together under the same roof as husband and wife.

* If you consider physical closeness and sexual curiosities as a stage of knowledge, that is, you want to know sexual compatibility, each other’s tendencies (such as unreasonable tendencies and sexual deviations), possible diseases (such as cold-tempered) and… Then things will get better. Because you measure the other side with more open eyes. Instead of having sex, you will often have a sexual conversation and talk about your sexual understandings. To know, you know that you don’t have to go all the way and experience a perfect sex. Rather, by observing the words, movements and behaviors, fever, etc., you get enough codes for recognition and at the same time, you have a chance to express affection.
During the engagement period, whether you read the marriage contract or formal marriage, in any case, you have one main goal. Getting to know each other and finding out if you are a good match together or not.

* If you see sex as the final stage of intimacy, you will have good control over your emotional exchanges, physical closeness and sexual interactions. You know that promiscuous sex can affect your knowledge and make the position of mood and lust in your relationship so strong that you forget to know each other and reach understanding. In this case, you caress, you hold each other’s hands, you address each other with romantic expressions, you talk about your sexual curiosities and your desires, but you are also careful that this approach, to the extent that it defeats your logic. Shut down, don’t go further.

Don’t make your palate bitter

Having sex during engagement has other risks. The period of engagement is not as rigid as the period when you live under the same roof. Anything can break this fragile engagement. Differences between yourselves, family differences, unforeseen problems that discourage one or both from marriage and… Therefore, if you have promiscuous sex during engagement, you may feel suffering, humiliation, heartbreak, and damage when your relationship breaks down.

Unwanted pregnancies during engagement are the peak of troubles that you may experience. Apart from the shame that you experience in front of the customs and culture of your society and family, you must go back and forth, even if you do not have enough understanding with each other, lead this relationship to marriage.
With this in mind, perhaps the best and most harmless way is to clarify your duties with yourself and your fiancé from the very beginning of the engagement and stay away from its dangers by correcting your view of this period. Remember, when you are mahram to each other or you are married, you are allowed to have physical intimacy, but here there are other issues besides Sharia and custom. Getting to know each other and the happiness of a lifetime that can only be achieved in the shadow of your vigilance during engagement.

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