About Virginity We have heard or read a lot, but we may not have heard or know much about mental virginity, we have tried to provide you with basic information about the meaning and concept of mental virginity.
What does mental virginity mean in girls’ minds?
Many girls, by reading books and websites, and especially by entering universities and higher education institutions or by entering work environments, find that not all the teachings they have learned from their families are necessarily correct. Over the years, the girls’ families have told them, “My daughter, we live in Iran,” in response to every question about why I should think this way about society and men. “This is not Europe or America.”
When these girls to Occupational environments And when they enter school, they soon realize that there are other girls in their own city in Iran who do not think like this and did not grow up with these teachings. Fatal injury They have not seen each other and they can cope with the world and Iran and its lustful “bad men” with an independent and coherent identity!
But some girls are denied access to more realistic information for any reason, or if Conservative personality They prefer not to receive information in addition to those seemingly safe teachings and presuppositions so as not to cause mental confusion and anxiety.
Because in such an atmosphere, even having a sexual fantasy is considered dangerous or sinful, these girls go through a successful process of repression, any fantasy and Sexual desire Turn off inside themselves. This is the best way to get rid of the conflict between wanting to Emotional connection And sex on the one hand and exaggerated fear of guilt and whimsy on the other. “Mental virginity” is a direct product of this process.
Mental virginity is more important than physical virginity because it may persist even after a legitimate marriage, leading to feelings of unnecessary sex and deep sexual coldness, and sometimes even barring. Physical virginity To be; The phenomenon to which «Marriage “It has not reached the carpenter,” they say. That is, the woman continues after a few months or years of marriage Virgin Of course, the phenomenon of mental virginity is not unique to women and is less common in men.
Of course, perhaps on the other hand, in a part of the boyish and masculine world, the attitude towards girls is also the attitude of hunting and deception with the intention of seeking. Perhaps the reason for this phenomenon is the separation of primary and secondary schools and high schools for girls and boys. That is, in such an atmosphere, because boys do not have access to the girls’ intellectual and emotional world, they are only able to perceive them from a distance as sexual and physical objects.
Of course, in recent years for various social reasons and Mass communication networks This wall between Mental and emotional world Boys and girls are somewhat collapsed and mutually capable of exposing their artistic, political, social, and mental and emotional worlds in addition to their bodies.
But in any case, the most important concept to girls in Relationship with the opposite sex It is transmitted, it is the concept of harm. It is in such an atmosphere that many girls fall in love and become attached to a boy like a plague or a Cancer They find it incurable and under the illusion that if this attachment to marriage does not end, they will not survive this horrible calamity. Especially if the boy has “unreasonable” desires in friendship. Based on this, Cinderella Syndrome is formed: “I only communicate with someone and I will be attached to him to be sure that my relationship with him will end well, which is definitely marriage.”
In Cinderella Syndrome, the only good ending is the illusion of having a good-natured, sweet-spoken boy with a lot of understanding and financial perfection who eagerly awaits marriage to his sweetheart, and since this is usually just a fairy tale, these girls have virtually nothing. They do not experience verbal or emotional communication.
On the other hand, there are fewer restrictions for boys Verbal communication And there are emotional and sexual. Few mothers at a women’s evening party reveal to their friends that their daughter has a boyfriend. While at the same party, the mother of a boy looks seemingly upset and dissatisfied and says, “By God, my son, who only God knows what he is doing. Twenty girls away. “They call him a hundred times a day,” and his eyes sparkle with pride as he tries to show how upset he is. Society seems to be less concerned about boys than girls Mental and emotional damage And sex is caused by intercourse.
Dr. Samarand Salimi, psychiatrist and marriage and family counselor
Collection: Simorgh Health Group