Sex

Lack of information in various fields of marriage and its consequences

Did you know that the origin and source of many problems between husband and wife is the lack of awareness of healthy sexual relations? And the need to inform and inform about marital issues for couples is the most crucial thing for them!

In recent decades, sexual need and teaching the right ways to deal with it have always been viewed as a taboo; A need that increases the generation, dynamism of the country and avoids many harms; However, this issue has always been denied by the media and people, or it has not been properly discussed, and the result is that according to the results of some researches, 75% of divorces are due to sexual problems.

Dr. “Mahmoud Golzari” – Deputy Director of Youth Affairs of the Ministry of Sports and Youth Affairs – in his latest statement in this connection, pointing out the importance of the issue, clearly speaks of a great danger and draws everyone’s attention to it.

Explaining this issue from a completely scientific point of view, Dr. Golzari adds that “the most important difference between men and women is in the field of sexual issues”. These people showed that women and men do not have many differences in psychological dimensions, except in the sexual field.

According to him, one of the important issues is to express the psychological differences between men and women; As it was once thought that there are many differences between men and women; For example, men’s mathematical talent and women’s literary-artistic talent are more, or women are detail oriented and men are general oriented; But the researches of recent years show that many of the differences that were thought to exist between men and women are not true and they are not very different from each other in their psychological fields.

Referring to the views of some evolutionary theory psychologists, Golzari says: the difference in the attitude and behavior of men and women in the sexual field is rooted even before the emergence of man, and its foundations can be found in primitive animals, and according to this, from ancient times to Now and even in the future, the attitude, motivation and behavior of men more than women have been around sexual relations.

Statistics of couples’ sexual problems

Sexual issues are one of the basic pillars and perhaps in some ways the most important aspect of joint life and play an important role in the family’s survival. However, according to Dr. Majid Abhari, a pathologist, 75% of divorces in Iran are due to sexual problems.

He says: “Besides choosing an inappropriate spouse and economic-environmental problems, the main reason for divorce is the lack of sexual understanding between husband and wife. In the surveys conducted by the Foundation for the Protection of Family Consolidation from the beginning of 1992 to June 1993, among 3650 couples who had separated from their spouses, it was found that the weakness of husbandry skills, not knowing the needs and capabilities of both sexes were among the most important reasons for their divorce; But the main reason was sexual problems.”

At the same time, Abhari states: “75% of women’s attention after giving birth to their first child is focused on their baby, and emotional and sexual neglect of men causes subsequent problems. »

Dr. “Mehdi Bayati” – a psychologist – also believes that many family disputes and even divorces are due to sexual issues; Because ignorance about these topics causes very serious differences between couples; Although it may appear in other forms; Therefore, in order to improve this process, couples should be given appropriate sexual information.

Consequences of sexual problems
Bayati warns that “complexes and psychological problems caused by not responding to sexual needs in marital relationships have led to extramarital relationships, especially in big cities.”

According to him, “one of the reasons for the increase in the number of AIDS in Iran is related to sexual relations, and other harms such as emotional divorce, white marriage, and the prevalence of bachelor homes also originate from this issue.”

According to this psychologist, “Sexual issues are one of the integral parts of couples’ lives; But in the past decades, we have mainly approached this issue with a negative view; So there is some anxiety about talking about sex. Also, we witnessed this trend in the 60s and 70s, and because the psychological and sexual needs of people have not been properly answered, this issue has led to mental complexes and problems.”

Dr. Abhari has a similar opinion. According to this behaviorist, sexual disabilities, cultural problems in not expressing sexual needs, and the weakness of the culture of referring to specialists and counselors are the main sources of the occurrence and increase of divorce. Although neither husband nor wife usually mention sexual problems as their reasons for divorce; However, after talking with them, it becomes clear that the lack of pre-marital sexual management training and the lack of behavioral understanding skills are among the main reasons for this phenomenon.

Stating that “one of the main causes of extramarital affairs is the lack of sexual understanding between couples”, he adds: “Unfortunately, instead of going to a counselor or having honesty to express their needs and problems, husband and wife turn to self-treatment or refrain from treatment.” And the accumulation of these problems leads to them stating unrealistic reasons for divorce.

Solutions to reduce couples’ sexual problems

Dr. Bayati, however, points to the role of radio and television in sex culture and education for couples and says: “Currently, the sexual crisis is hidden, but in the future it will be revealed and bring many problems; Therefore, it is necessary for radio and television to make programs on sexual topics when children are not watching television programs; Of course, in other countries, various measures are taken in this field, including psychotherapy, but in Iran, dealing with sexual issues is a taboo.”

He adds: “People who believe that they should not deal with sexual issues in their family life have problems. This is while giving the correct information in this field will make the society healthy and addressing this issue is even more important than some major national issues in the society. »

This evasive psychologist also touches on the field of religion and reminds: “In the field of religious discussions, the smallest points about sexual issues have been taken into consideration in the form of hadiths and traditions; Therefore, we need to address this issue.”

In this connection, he says about the role of pre-marriage education to reduce couples’ sexual ignorance: “We don’t have the necessary education in this field. At one point, a family planning unit was set up in universities in order to familiarize students with sexual issues; But these subjects are not properly taught to students in classes, and this causes serious harm in the future; Because in the case of an increase in sexual injuries, the officials say that we tried to educate the students, but it was not effective. »

Referring to the relationship between addiction and sexual issues, Dr. Bayati states: “Addiction statistics are directly related to sexual relations, and it is necessary for people who are knowledgeable about this issue to convey the facts and work to young couples.”

Dr. Abhari also mentions sexual ignorance at the end and says: “Sexual ignorance is one of the main causes of problems between husband and wife. Holding training courses for young wives and even including these topics in university courses can reduce some of these problems; Because the main items of premarital education should be sexual education.

Now the question arises that despite the great importance of increasing the sexual awareness of couples in order to reduce the number of divorces and the resulting social harms, why is there still no written program in this field, or educational institutions such as the ministries of education and science and the media, including the voice And Sima is not doing enough in this field?

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