Management of harassment of the opposite sex during work
It may have happened to you that outside the house, a man violated your privacy and harassed you. This harassment, which can take many forms, first questions your sense of security, then makes you struggle to re-establish the sense of security, and then ruins the rest of your day with the splinters it leaves behind.
In this article, I will tell you three examples of harassment situations along with the methods of facing and dealing with them, in the form of three story situations.
The first story: the beginning of the journey
The morning is a spring day. A young woman named Zohra leaves home to go to work. On her way to the taxi station, she passes a place where there is not much traffic. Meanwhile, a passer-by says an inappropriate word to him while passing by…
Story analysis: What happened to Zahra is one of the most common types of harassment among women, especially young women, which is known as “verbal harassment” in psychology and “teasing” in popular language. Although in this form of abuse, like its other forms, some kind of violence is applied to the victim, but for reasons such as being transient or not causing physical harm to the victim, the person does not pay much attention to it psychologically.
What should we do against Matalak?
Ignorance of the correct methods of self-management in facing this situation can worsen its consequences.
Trust yourself. Don’t let the feeling of insecurity, self-confidence and self-control affect your technique. Trust in your ability to get through this situation and give yourself peace of mind.
Papich do not disturb! Verbal harassers often come to you when you are alone and in a quiet place or time. In this situation, when you have the least chance to defend yourself, avoid stopping and fighting with them one by one.
localize This group of abusers are looking for sexual attention. If you give them this attention, even in a negative way, they may get stronger and cause more trouble for you. Remember, inattention is worse than negative attention. So repay them with indifference.
Just count on yourself. If you are harassed in a crowded place, don’t make a fuss in the hope of helping others, because people often don’t have a good look at a woman who has fallen out with a man and they don’t help her much. So just count on your abilities.
Change your position. Move away from the place where the intruder is and go to a safer place.
Ask for help. If the intruder does not stop, ask someone who can help you or the police to come to the scene.
The second story: the path
Leila, a sophomore, is sitting in a taxi and is engrossed in her phone screen when she suddenly feels something tickling her, she looks towards it…
Analysis of the story: The disturbance that Leila faces is less common than the position of Venus and is known as “rubbing” in psychology. Rubbing is a situation where a strange man touches the body of an unsuspecting woman and imagines that he has an exclusive relationship with the victim during the moments of touch. This disturbance is usually very short because the person who is disturbing soon realizes that he needs to leave the situation. Often, young men create this disturbance and choose crowded places such as taxis, buses, subways, elevators, etc. for their purpose.
What to do against physical assault?
Do these things to face massage lovers:
speak up Rubbish intruders are often passive and isolated people who feel power and control over their victim by touching them. If you remain silent, you have confirmed his impression and kept yourself in a position of abuse.
Be clear and decisive. Don’t say “I’m sorry, please and…”, but look at him firmly and frankly and warn him about his behavior.
you are innocent It’s not your fault that the annoying person is rude, so don’t waste your time looking for the reason in your appearance and behavior.
Express your feelings. Talk to someone you trust about what happened to you and how you feel.
The third story: destination
Naghmeh has noticed some changes in the behavior of his co-worker for some time, but he has put it down to inattention until one afternoon, while he is about to leave, that person stops him and says irrelevant things…
Analysis of the story: Harassment in the workplace, education, therapy, etc. usually comes from someone who is familiar to the victim, therefore it has a special effect on his sense of security and trust. Jokes, stories and sexual innuendos, commenting on a person’s appearance, making sexual suggestions, insisting on meetings outside the workplace, inappropriate questions about personal and sexual life, staring and touching are among the harassments that can be caused in the workplace, education and therapy. .
What to do against harassment in the workplace?
In the complex but common situation of workplace sexual assault, do the following:
Enduring is not always worth it. Tell the harasser clearly and decisively that you are upset and dissatisfied with his behavior. If you remain silent, he will take it as your consent or inability and continue his behavior.
Accept your feelings. After such a situation, different feelings come to you. Emotions such as anger, loneliness, isolation, vulnerability and helplessness. Do not suppress your feelings, but express them or write them down.
It is not your fault. Although appearance can increase the likelihood of harassment, it is usually not the victim’s fault, as this situation happens to different groups of women. So don’t feel guilty about it.
Do not isolate yourself. You need to manage your relationships and create productive ones, not diminish them. For example, you can set boundaries.
Do not play the victim. Playing the role of a victim will make you stay in the position of harassment and the harassment will be repeated to you many times.
Hug yourself. After being hurt, you want to constantly criticize yourself, engage in self-destructive behaviors such as smoking or eating more, ignore yourself, blame yourself, and in some way punish yourself for not committing a sin. These things make you sink more into the swamp of desperation and feeling out of control over life and become more vulnerable.
Change your position. If the conversation is not effective, and on the other hand, the destructive effects of abuse are spreading to other aspects of your life, do the best you can; Get away from that environment.
You are valuable. Hearing shameless talk makes you doubt your worth and self-esteem. In dealing with it, tell yourself every day that you are valuable and capable.
get help A psychologist can help you analyze this.