Sex

Marriage for sex

Is your idea of ​​getting married and living together sexually and your goal is to satisfy your sexual instinct!

One of the most important issues in the minds of many couples these days is the importance of sex in married life. Many families have experienced sexual divorce, which in many cases may be misinterpreted as emotional divorce.

But experts say sexual divorce is separate from emotional divorce, and sexual divorce can lead to emotional divorce very quickly. How important this relationship is and what percentage of life it is is a topic that Dr. Behnam Ouhadi, a psychiatrist, has explained.

In the past, traditional counseling used to say that sex is 20 to 25 percent of marriages. The fact is that for the ancients, marriage was meant to form a social institution, not necessarily to enrich the sexual instinct. In the past, when two people got married and started a house and family, their intention was to set the table and give a party and gather around them, and sex was for reproduction. Children were originally seen as a workforce, and in large homes and gardens, labor was provided by family members. In the meantime, few people paid attention to the pleasure of this relationship, and especially in women, this attention was very low. Many women at that time never had sexual satisfaction in their lifetime and failed, became frustrated and even hated sex.

Confrontation of tradition and modernity!

Gradually, with the industrialization and modernization of society, the view of children was no longer the view of the labor force, and with the reduction of the number of houses, the number of children also decreased. What has happened in our society, especially in the last 40-40 years, is a significant reduction in the number of children. Now the number of children has increased from eight to two children a week, and the achievement of modernity is the enjoyment of sexual instincts. Now, sex has become an instrument of pleasure in the reproductive system.

Which couples are more successful?

At present, the family is not necessarily a social and economic institution and has found a function that people want to enjoy. For this reason, in this social system, people who are very introverted, that is, pathologically introverted and separatist, may see 20 to 25 percent of marriages in a marital relationship, but normal people 50 to 75 percent of their marriages are related to marital relationships. At present, choosing a spouse is based on physical and behavioral criteria, and for this reason, the spouse must have the characteristics expected by both parties. The other party must be physically and behaviorally attractive sexually, sexually and maritally.

You need to know before marriage

Many of the older members of the family talk to the young man who is about to get married and tell him that his face and body will return to normal and emphasize that if you go under one roof, sexual, physical and behavioral attractiveness will be created. He does not have it for him and unfortunately he may see something that is attractive to him in the public society and this is where the intercourse separates from the wife. The important point is that most marriage counselors and psychiatrists do not measure the sexual and marital compatibility between two people at all, and unfortunately they do not even evaluate the compatibility of the two personalities, both in terms of nature and character, and eventually marriages fail.

The healer does not work miracles!

Unfortunately, if the two people do not create tension for each other in any way, the treatment of sexual problems with the help of drugs will not be very satisfactory. Part of this is biological. This part of sexual desire is related to the creation of the individual and can not be changed with any medicine. So the only thing that can be done is for the two people to be close in this respect. There is an old Iranian proverb that says pigeon with pigeon open with open. It is clear how different these two birds are. Accordingly, the sexual desires of individuals have different limits and, as the famous saying goes, a dove cannot remarry. This is why marital sexuality in marriages needs to be assessed by carbald counselors, and ignorant counselors need to learn how to measure this more quickly.

Find the formula

If you want to see for yourself how much you agree with the other person in terms of sexual desires, you should know a very simple formula, and that is the amount of sleep, anger, humor and lust. A person who eats a lot or is sleepy and humorous is usually successful in marriage as well. In general, people can be divided into two categories; People who sleep a lot and people who sleep less. Those who need less sleep and are refreshed with a short period of sleep and are lively, fresh and energetic, are sharp people and are more sexually active and inherently know marital sexual skills better, and of course are more ambitious and ambitious in life, but people who They sleep longer, are generally lazier and have more phase change, and often have less libido and lower sexual skills. This is because marrying someone who sleeps a lot with someone who sleeps less can be catastrophic.

Sexual and personality harmony is the first condition

Marital sexuality and personality are both of primary importance, and it is not possible to say which of them is more important, but generally people with more marital sexuality often have more stable families. Many times you see that a good man does not make money, is not in good financial condition and is not in good health and is very comfortable at home and is not a good man but his wife does not divorce him, many people think that this woman continues to live for children but this It is not true and it is sex that has sustained the family. A marital relationship is like a ship’s engine; If the ship’s engine fails, the ship will no longer be moving at sea, except with a small wave going back and forth, but it is certainly not purposeful.

Do not forget the tutorial

Teaching men the art of all-embracing and marital skills should be done. Issues such as foreplay and post-play in sex must be observed. At the same time, the expectations of the couple from the marital relationship should be clearly stated. If a person is not able to satisfy his wife sexually, he should not have children at all, and he should first see a sex therapist and not think about having children until this problem is solved.

Modify the definition of intimacy

Young people think that they should fall in love first and then get married, while love fades after two to three years and the parties should do something to turn love into intimacy. Intimacy includes components such as hugs, kisses and physical caresses that should not be overlooked. According to the increasing statistics of divorce in the society, there should be the necessary education in this field and couples should deal with this issue consciously. Men and women must improve themselves in this regard. At present, women are more interested in television and movies, and according to the knowledge they have gained, they have improved themselves in the field of marital relations, but men are unfortunately still oblivious, so women have grown a lot in terms of the art of hugging and marital skills. That is why the growth of extramarital affairs in women in our society in the last decade follows a geometric progression but in men follows an arithmetic progression.

Dating before marriage is important

According to the laws and traditions that exist in our country, it is best for people to have a temporary marriage for a period of time before a permanent marriage, which is called a conditional marriage. During this time, young people live together and if everything goes well, they can make an eternal covenant.

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