Sex

Psychology of spouses’ sexual disorders

Spouses who have sexual problems with their partners should read the words of our psychiatrist today.

He says I love my life but my thoughts are destroying everything. Curious about what thoughts are causing the destruction of this life, I continue to read the note, “I am 36 years old and have a child and a wife. Although my wife doesn’t know what’s going on in my mind, my reluctance to establish a marital relationship with her has made our relationship colder. He says that I don’t love him anymore and if I want to continue our life together with this process, we have to separate. I searched the internet about my problem and found out that I have a paraphilia of memorabilia. I am embarrassed to go to the doctor or talk about my problem with my wife. I don’t know if my problem is really curable or not!

Regardless of whether it is right or wrong, despite the current age of technology, when talking about sexual issues is taboo in the society, it is natural that people who have sexual problems do not want to talk about it with anyone or only through satellite or internet. They are looking for answers to their questions in this field, and perhaps this indecision in reaching the right answer is the reason for the aggravation of these people’s problems.

Dr. Behzad Ghorbani, sexual psychiatrist and director of Ibn Sina Infertility Treatment Center, pointing out that paraphilia manifests itself in different forms and one or more of its types can exist in a person, said: “Paraphilia is a type of sexual deviation and refers to a state of It is possible that in that state of sexual arousal, it depends on a very specific idea, both in terms of perception and memory, and not on the idea of ​​the sexual partner. In fact, in this case, a person experiences sexual pleasure in different ways except natural sex, which can be in the form of watching movies, pictures, objects, rubbing, seeing, etc., which includes sexual deviations. This disorder manifests itself in different forms and one or more of its types can exist in a person. Showing off, wanting memories, playing with children, wearing disguises, commenting, sexual masochism, rubbing and sadism are different types of paraphilia.

He further reminded: “In commemoration or fetishism, a person gets aroused by seeing the hair, clothes, shoes, etc. of the opposite sex instead of having physical contact or a normal marital relationship with his wife. In this deviation, the patient enjoys an object such as women’s high-heeled shoes or women’s socks, etc. Normally he needs this object to be aroused and without it he will not be aroused. This behavior can have a negative impact on a person’s married life. Of course, another type of commemoration is accompanied by wearing the opposite sex, in which case, a person gets sexual pleasure by wearing clothes of the opposite sex.

The member of the academic staff of the university pointed out that all the sexual deviations that manifest in the form of paraphilia have a single treatment for them and only changes may be made in the details of the treatment process, he explained: “A single treatment for all the sexual deviations that manifest in the form of paraphilia they manifest, it exists and only changes may be made in the details of the treatment process, for example, in psychotherapy sessions in the type of reminiscence stimulation, people are advised to be less in a private room, or a person with massage paraphilia is suggested to Avoid being in crowded places.

Emphasizing that these patients need psychotherapy-psychotherapy sessions for treatment in order to find out why they abandon the correct relationship of establishing a marital relationship and turn to sexual deviations, he said: “In many cases, several psychotherapy sessions are needed to Determine the effective factor in the occurrence of this behavior and see what is happening in the mental background of these people. Perhaps many of these people suffer from sexual deviations even though they are married.

Ghorbani pointed out that various reasons are found in psychotherapy evaluations, which are the effective factors in the occurrence of this behavior in a person, and said: “Sometimes after a few sessions of psychotherapy, it becomes clear that the patient has had a bitter and unpleasant experience in the past due to some reasons Having acquired relationships, he does not want to establish a relationship with his life partner, so he turns to sexual deviations to satisfy his needs. One of the other effective causes of this behavior can be the wife’s cold temper. A number of patients turn to sexual deviations because their partner is cold-tempered towards establishing a relationship. Most of these people, because they are not among those who can communicate outside the family framework, tend towards sexual deviations and satisfy their needs. Usually, in this situation, a person loves his wife and does not want to establish a relationship with another person, as a result, he may turn to paraphilia of seeking souvenirs or rubbing, etc.”

The director of the Ibn Sina Infertility Treatment Center also listed the feeling of sexual impotence as one of the other factors influencing the occurrence of paraphilia and said: “People who do not see the ability to have a relationship in themselves and cannot develop a relationship are more prone to sexual deviations.” Most of these people are stressed and anxious during intercourse, or have difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection, or because they are not ready to have a relationship, and… they decide to meet their needs in different ways except physical contact with their spouse or communication. fulfill a natural marriage.”

According to this psychiatrist, biological issues are another effective factor in the formation of this behavior that leads a person to sexual deviation. Usually, sometimes even the field of genetics and heredity is involved in biological causes, for example, behaviors such as visiting or reminiscing are completely seen in people of the same family.

Ghorbani warned that sometimes depression caused by the decrease in serotonin levels can also play a role in the occurrence of these deviations, and noted: “In psychotherapy, after identifying the effective factor in pushing a person towards sexual deviations, the necessary treatment measures are taken to eliminate them. . For example, in memory seeking, psychotherapy is done with the aim of identifying the primary cause of this deviation, and usually a large percentage of people respond to treatment. But in some types of paraphilia, drug treatment may be needed in addition to psychotherapy sessions. Considering that most sexual deviations are caused by biological causes, prescribing serotonergic drugs (antidepressant and anti-obsessional or serotonin reuptake inhibitors) can be effective in improving patients. Of course, sometimes the use of antipsychotic drugs in low to medium doses is recommended to the patient for treatment, because the results of studies show that sometimes the occurrence of some paraphilia behaviors is due to the presence of depression and obsessive behaviors in a person. Even sometimes, depression caused by the decrease in serotonin can also play a role in the occurrence of these deviations, which will be solved by increasing serotonin through the use of serotonergic drugs. Of course, this requires treatment and long-term use of drugs.”
In the end, emphasizing that this problem is treatable, he said: “Unfortunately, the main problem of patients with paraphilia is their refusal to receive treatment, and most of them do not go to a doctor for treatment, while if they go to a specialist, their problem will be treatable.” Was.”

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13 July 1394 14:52

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