Stimulate sex and restore it to the first state
How can we bring back the original enthusiasm in the field of sex to our married life, what methods in this field have a greater impact on our relationship and stimulate and renew our sex, read the recommendations of sex counselors in this field.
It often happens that when a couple lives together for a long time, the irritability factor gradually decreases and their sexual relationship is governed solely by sexual needs and not intimacy in the relationship. It is natural for spouses to look for a solution to return the former passion to their relationship.
In the meantime, many movies, pictures, magazines and even computer games are made every year to arouse and stimulate sexual desire, which has become an industry and business. Watching such images in any way can happen to both men and women, both married and single.
But this question has always been raised that watching such movies alone or with your wife is the right thing to do to increase sexual desire and increase sexual enthusiasm? Can these videos be used to learn sex? And the more important question is what dangers does the addiction to watching such movies pose for people?
Signs of addiction to pornography
Before putting any label on your spouse or those around you, make sure if they really have the signs of pornography addiction? Don’t be too quick to judge in this case and before putting any label, put the signs together and check further. Porn addiction is like any other addiction and it happens when a person spends many hours of the day dealing with it, or to get his tools, engage in harmful behaviors such as paying a lot of money, getting involved in illegal issues, etc. hits.
In married people, over time, the desire for porn causes a decrease in the desire to have sex with the spouse, and this issue leads to a decrease in the emotional relationship between them and a decrease in the capacity to love each other. So before you know it’s all over, make sure you know how far this story has gone? Sometimes just a simple curiosity or fun in adults is the reason for the tendency to watch porn and it stops after a short time. But some people prefer to experience sex only by watching movies.
What is the problem?
Porn addiction causes many problems in relationships with spouses.
1- Rising expectations from the wife
One of the most important problems that such movies cause for couples is raising the level of expectation of spouses about each other’s sexual performance. Because many of the people who play in such movies are carefully selected and since these movies are made for commercial purposes, they do things that probably do not happen in a normal marital relationship and watch it. It can subconsciously create the impression that, for example, wives should be able to do all the things that the actors in these movies do.
2- Inconsistency in sexual stimulation
While it is attractive for men to see provocative images in any way, for women it is not attractive to see scenes in which it is only about sex and there is no emotion. In their fantasies, women also imagine events such as falling in love or spending time with their spouse more than just having sex.
This is why men and women are not equally affected by these movies. Not being stimulated by watching these movies may make a woman not as ready for sex as her husband, and for this reason, the incompatibility between their husbands will cause problems.
3- Men becoming unfriendly in sex
Watching porn in men is associated with indifference towards women, devaluing monogamy, doubting the value of marriage, and decreasing desire to have children. These movies make a man value the desire for sex more than the desire to establish a real relationship, and his ability to be emotionally intimate decreases.
4- Depression and aggression
Many studies have shown that watching these movies causes problems for the individual, spouse and society. For example, research has shown that watching a lot of such movies causes the loss of healthy sexual responses in single men.
Also, many studies have shown that there is a strong relationship between watching these movies and depression. That is, those who watch these movies several times a week or a day, get a very high score in depression tests. And they also show more aggressive behavior.
What should we do?
Now that porn has so many negative effects, what can be done to avoid them?
1- Stay away from porn sources
Is this an internet source? Or a movie collection? Try to put some distance between yourself and those sources, for example: put your computer in a common room in the house and not in your character’s bedroom, or block relevant websites on your Windows computer so that you can no longer access them. you have.
2- Know the situations of temptation
Do you turn to porn when you’re bored or when you’re angry? Or when your heart is broken? Tired or lonely? Try to avoid these situations or replace them with new habits.
3- Destroy the bridges behind the head
Mark the DVDs containing porn videos and images with a pen that are no longer usable and then throw them away and delete all the porn files you have on your computer. Download and install a program on your computer system that filters all porn sites.
What is a misconception about watching porn?
Many people think that these films have an effective educational effect and are useful for young people who do not have the resources to learn sexual skills. But in fact, many of these films are made to earn money, and almost none of them contain any traces of education.
On the other hand, some couples may say that they can learn new skills or methods by watching these movies. But in fact, in most porn movies, unhealthy methods of sexual intercourse are shown, and naturally, some of its scenes are not natural, and imitating them causes spouses to face many problems in their marital relationship.
* Master’s student in clinical psychology
Sepideh Danai Monthly – Atieh Rezaei*: