Disturbing factors of marital life
These important factors have a great impact in disrupting the foundation of married life and creating differences between them, so try to avoid them.
Among the important causes that destroy the roots of the family are disharmony, lack of agreement, excesses or excesses in the sexual affairs of spouses, which can disrupt the family system.
In fact, most of the differences between husbands and wives seem to be about the details of life, but its origin lies in the secrets of their dreams, and its root is sexual heterogeneity. According to experts, all the problems affecting husband and wife can be ignored, except for sexual disharmony, which completely breaks the system of husband and wife. But the question here is where the origin of this sexual heterogeneity comes from?
[B]Marital mistakes and excesses[/B]Hojjat al-Islam wa al-Muslimin Dr. Nasir Abedini, a psychologist, says about this: In close marital relationships, there are certain instincts in a woman that show when and when she can engage in marital relationships and submit. But unfortunately, in most marriages, due to ignorance and lack of correct information, the man completely ignores the condition of the woman and by obeying his unbridled sexual desires, he forces the woman to have relations when she is not ready, which he considers illegal. It calls marriage, and this factor becomes the cornerstone of a woman’s cold-tempered and aversion to the continuation and repetition of marital relations.
According to this psychologist, the shock effects that result from such an uncoordinated sexual relationship on the brain and psyche of a woman with those delicate and vulnerable feelings are so deep that it is likely to have negative effects throughout her life and her unfavorable attitude towards Marital affairs can be seen.
In marital relationships where men and women cooperate with each other, a kind of desirable force or energy is exchanged and promotes the strength and power of the parties. But when the relationship is one-sided and coercive, i.e. the man insists on performing these actions and the woman is not willing to do it, not only physical and psychological harm will be inflicted on the woman, but the energy that the man lost will not be regained and will suffer It will be a loss.
Another issue that this psychologist doctor points out is that when a man repeatedly and forcefully insists on establishing marital relations, such as dinner and lunch, in a way, it causes a waste of energy and strength that should be spent on important things in life, and this disharmony can be seen as a kind of sexual excess.
In the heterogeneous and inconsistent sexual excesses that can be seen in many spouses’ lives these days, and the main reason for that is environmental stimuli of the type (audio, visual, and sensory), it is the man who will see the main loss. Because in marital relations, inconsistency in which moderation is not observed, the man will reach the limit of excess and waste of energy earlier than the woman, and it actually causes impotence and premature aging. Some research shows that the occurrence of sexual disorders or impotence occurs six months after marriage due to such excesses.
[B]Sexual excesses are prohibited![/B]Unfortunately, it is displayed on many unauthorized internet sites and vulgar satellite programs and videos, and it is more unfortunate that its false excitement causes some spouses, especially men, to engage in these unusual and unsanitary acts in their marital relationships.
Hojjat al-Islam, Dr. Abedini says in this regard: the situation that a woman faces in connection with abuse and inappropriate and unconventional sexual assaults by her husband or with marital excesses is a relationship in which, due to the one-sidedness of the sexual act, the woman becomes a tool in A man’s hand to ward off the fire of lust. Because when a man is aroused abnormally and with false stimuli, he becomes careless and will no longer be able to respect his wife’s conjugal rights and give an emotional response, and as a result, establishing a relationship that he does not want is disgusting, imposed, It will be reprehensible, mean and vulgar.
These unsanitary relationships outside the norm and excesses are not only a moral disrespect to the woman’s privacy, but also the source of her weakness and physical injuries. The sexual excesses and resentment that caused the woman’s injury make it impossible to establish even an empathy, conversation or a friendly and sincere conversation, and the power and force of this sexual enmity is such that it leads many women to court and divorce.
Remember, sexual motivation is not only a physical manifestation as the general public imagines, but it covers the entire existence and psyche of a person, and if sexual profanity occurs, such displeasure in God and such hatred and enmity between woman and man. A man gives birth, which can be compared exactly with the intensity of love that wives used to have for each other. Unfortunately, in our society today, thousands of women have experienced this sexual disrespect and were forced to remain silent due to the shame of expressing it.
[B]Regulation and protection of marital relations[/B]Most men are always ready to have sex. In other words, the man is just waiting for the woman to invite him; But because a woman has a high level of acceptance only in certain periods and she is aware of this, the man should accept that the possibility of establishing these relationships only in certain times will transfer the desired energy to him and not to waste his energy more than this. .
Referring to this issue, Dr. Abedini adds that men and women should gradually regularize their caregiving periods, which are often determined by the woman, so that the attraction and warmth of these relationships will overshadow the rest of the days. Men should know that there are periods in a woman’s life when she is not herself in any way. Around this period, the extraordinary woman is prone to anger, sensitivity and sourness. At least in such times, a man should consider the condition of a woman and try to deal with her with understanding, love and respect, and be sure that the reflection of a true love for a woman is to receive thousands of love. Therefore, in order to be able to protect your marital relationship, you must be a considerate lover. These considerations keep your marital bond strong in more than a thousand legal ways, and the existence of such a bond makes marriage sacred.
Source: (Fakhera Behbahani/ Chardivari, Monday supplement of Jam Jam newspaper)