The attitude of parents and family members towards girls’ maturity is very important and can have a significant impact on girls’ spirit, will and self-confidence.
However, as soon as the children approach the puberty period, many lose their hands and feet, they treat this phenomenon as if it is a calamity that is coming down on them and their beloved child and everything is supposed to happen. mix up
Others immediately bury their heads under the snow, pretending not to hear, see and not know. They deny the events that are happening right in front of their eyes or they let their child go through this stage by themselves, they also argue that did anyone talk to us about these things?! We understood and dealt with it ourselves.
There are parents who rebel. They become sensitive about everything, they attribute everything to maturity, and in short, out of every 10 sentences they say to their children, eight are related to the signs of maturity and adolescent behaviors in this era and the like.
Of course, puberty is a sensitive time for teenagers first of all and then for those around them; Especially girls, who experience the symptoms of puberty earlier than boys, and some of these symptoms are very different from their usual habits, are more vulnerable to harm. How to deal with puberty?! How to talk to girls about puberty?! Who and at what time, what amount of information should be given to the girl?!
Be prepared yourself
As a parent, whether you want it or not, you will face your child’s puberty very soon. First of all, you should be calm and have proper information in this field. Just stressing or relying on personal experiences or the words of this and that does not make you a good guide for your child.
Stressing and getting upset will not help your child, and you will only convey to him the feeling that you cannot handle this issue, and as a result, he will distance himself from you. So, whether as a mother or as a father, if you have a daughter who will enter puberty (usually 10-14 years) in the next few years, take the following steps now:
Read about maturity. Be careful to use reliable sources. Puberty has other signs besides acne and physical signs and bad manners that you can help your child well by knowing them. Do not forget that people are different. Maybe your child will not enter this period at the same age as you matured or with the same model that you experienced puberty. Studying and obtaining reliable information is necessary for this.
Keep calm. Yes, your beloved child is going to grow from a cute and playful child to an adult. You cannot stop this process, but you have to face a new dimension of being a parent and experience the joys of this era.
Rethink your behavior. Just as you don’t expect your 15-year-old child to behave the way he did when he was 6, you shouldn’t treat him the way you did when he was 6. You need to learn new behavioral and educational skills. It is better to think about it before you get into trouble.
Motherly for girls
It is said that it is better for mothers to talk to their daughters about puberty. Puberty, for girls, is full of physical and psychological changes, most of which are related to the girl’s very, very private privacy. From the physical changes in the organs to the ups and downs of mood and sudden feelings and menstruation, all of them are very feminine and as a result, it is better for a mother to talk about them with her daughter, but how and since when?!
Hear the bell
Be aware of signs, especially in behavior and speech. Your child may encounter information outside the home or at school or through television and the Internet that will raise questions in his mind much earlier than you anticipate. At whatever age he is, talk to him age-appropriately about the subject. Don’t think that as soon as you say “These things are too early for you”, or “Go to sleep, I won’t hear you talk about these things again” or “Okay, you will understand in time”, he will no longer think or be curious about this matter. It just won’t keep you informed.
tell the truth
Never lie to your child about anything related to puberty. You don’t have to tell everything from the beginning, but don’t lie to him either. For example, if you heard about women’s monthly bleeding and you think it won’t happen to her in 4-5 years, don’t say, “No, it’s not like that, your friend’s sister must have another problem that she didn’t tell you about.”
That way, if it happens to him before you give him another explanation, he’ll be worried. In addition, with additional explanations, he will understand that you lied to him and will lose his trust in your words.
menstruation; Girl’s challenge
One of the hardest parts to explain to girls, without making them worry and feel bad, is menstruation, but its difficulty should not make you run away from it. Think about how your child will feel if he gets wrong information about this from his friends or if it happens to him before you talk to him?! So, prepare him little by little.
Talk about facts
Talk to a woman about her body structure. Tell her that she will become a mother one day like you, and her body is already maturing, preparing itself for that time; Like a kind of monthly exercise, until she actually becomes a mother, depending on her age and the amount of information she has, you can give this explanation in more detail.
Do not forget the margin of menstruation
Many times, pains, unexplained nervousness and symptoms such as swelling of parts of the body cause more discomfort than menstruation. Talk to your child about these things so that if they happen, they know that it is normal and not to worry.
Keep him ready
If she is very close to puberty or has just experienced her period, guide her to always carry clean underwear and soothing foods, such as sweets or a mild pain reliever, to keep her at ease.
Do not forget the training
Remember that you are used to menstruation and everything is clear to you, but your daughter needs education about even the smallest thing.
Share your experiences with him
Let your child know what issues you have during this time. This is a girly-feminine thing and you can feel bad about it.
Do not make the topic confidential or embarrassing
It’s true that men don’t have periods, but your wife knows about it, so you don’t need to play rocket games. The father is also your daughter’s confidant and can be helpful at times, for example, when the daughter is upset and nervous, give her more affection or support her if you are not there and she needs care or treatment. In addition, girls are supposed to learn to face a natural phenomenon that is a sign of the health of their body, not to be ashamed and constantly suffer that no one notices.
The role of fathers in the maturation of girls
Whether in single-parent families where the father is the sole head of the family or in families where the mother is also present, the role of the father in the maturation of girls is serious.
If you are a single parent
What about single-parent families where the father alone has to raise his daughter?! In these cases, of course, it will be difficult for the father to explain puberty. Even if the father is able to do this, the daughter may not be able to talk to him about all the details, or may be heartbroken and ask for advice. The best situation is that the girl has already established a good relationship with one of the close women, for example, with her grandmother, aunt, aunt, or the wife of one of her father’s close friends. So, from now on, think about an intimate and close relationship between girls and one of the ladies around whom you trust.
Compliment your daughter
All these talks do not mean that fathers do not have a share in their daughter’s puberty and they are supposed to clear the field for mother and daughter. Girls at this age need a lot of attention. They become sensitive about their appearance and constantly worry about being ugly and unattractive. It is necessary for fathers to praise their daughters and show that they are proud of her.
The mistake of some parents is that they think that if they enter into such categories, their daughter will open up or, for example, go astray, when on the contrary, a daughter who is satisfied with the compliments of a father who trusts her and feels valuable. He is slow, he does not look elsewhere to satisfy his need for praise and he values himself enough to take good care of himself.