Most newlyweds are unable to talk to others about their sexual problems or seek advice from them due to embarrassment and shyness. We have provided guidance in this regard.
Many young couples face problems due to lack of acquaintance and in some cases lack of awareness about how to deal with emotional and marital relationships between spouses, which unfortunately in some cases turn into family crises that Its effects on problems such as increasing divorce rates in society, sexual diversity and…. Is visible. Simorgh with the aim of preventing such problems and respecting the privacy of the family, to increase the knowledge of young couples and help improve and strengthen the relationship between spouses has prepared and presented the following article
When we encounter a problem in marital matters, the first step is to recognize the problem. There are many who do not want to think about the issue at all, let alone seek a solution to it!
When I was working in the family health clinic of Mostafa Khomeini Hospital, we had a client couple who had been married for 10 years and had not yet been able to have a relationship. Unlike many couples who have been separated for several months, they were so interested in each other that they decided to continue living together in the same way. They even had IVF to get pregnant and were unsuccessful.
Who is responsible for this? Who should teach a couple who want to start their lives under one roof how to treat each other? Who should they go to if something goes wrong? To general practitioners who, during 7 years of study and various courses, from parasitology to forensic medicine, do not hear a single word about sexual health?
To obstetricians or urologists? Do they know what to do with these patients? Wasn’t the infertility center where the couple had an IVF full of the same specialists? How many general practitioners, gynecologists, urologists, psychiatrists or psychologists in Iran can really help their clients in these areas?
Basically, in this day and age, does anyone consider themselves responsible for educating young girls and boys who want to enter a new world, which is no less than Wonderland for them? What is it like to live together in that Wonderland? And to think that we should not talk to our children about it, lest the veils of shame be torn, or lest the children shake their heads and ears; And we leave everything to fate, which friend or which website or which book, what right or wrong information to give our children; Has it solved a problem? Or created a thousand problems?
The missing link in sexual health education
The greatest help families have to a young boy or girl who wants to get married is to bargain and raise the dowry, or put money in the middle for the cost of engagement and wedding ceremonies; And they are always happy that I had such a party for my beloved that someone put a finger in his mouth and his eyes became pale.
Maybe no one is guilty. Who taught parents what to teach their children? Ring to ring is added to the chain of ignorance. But let us not forget that this ignorance does not diminish our responsibility as parents, teachers or government officials.
“Let’s change”
first step:
Let us not be ashamed of ourselves
When we encounter a problem in marital matters, the first step is to recognize the problem. There are many who do not want to think about the issue at all, let alone seek a solution to it! Marital issues are important. They should not be ignored. Sometimes, like a snowball, a small issue gets bigger and bigger over time, even bringing a marriage to a standstill.
Step two:
Let us not be ashamed of our spouse
Each person’s spouse must be the closest person to him or her. It is right to assume that some things should not be said because the boundaries are broken; But that is not the case with sex. Of course, the way the issue is expressed is important. Even the best words can be catastrophic if we say them badly. In marital matters, too, the matter should be discussed with the spouse in a completely respectful manner and in a positive tone, not reproachful or sarcastic.
Step 3:
Do not be ashamed of the consultant
There are not many doctors or psychologists who specialize in treating sexual problems. But there is no reason not to look for them. It is important that you and your spouse have the will to solve the problem. If you want it to be solved, if you give it time and energy, it will be solved. The first counselor may not be able to help; But you should not be disappointed. In our country and even all over the world, sex therapy is a new discipline. In the field of sexual health counseling, there are few experienced people; But they are not rare. If you find one, trust them and know that treating most of these problems is easy, but it takes time.
