Various sexual problems and their impact on married life

How can we solve various sexual problems and what effects do some impotence and failure to reach orgasm in women have on their lives that cause changes in their marital relationship?

Dr. Razieh Nasirzadeh, Clinical Psychologist: Sexual ability, penis size and everything related to male sexual function, causes great sensitivity in them. However, because of the shame and taboo nature of sexual problems, it is often not talked about, and even men who have problems with their sexual function may be reluctant to talk to their doctor about their problem. If you or someone close to you has this problem or you want to know more about erection problems, join us by reading this article.

What is an erectile dysfunction?

An erection is the enlargement and tightening of a man’s penis during sexual arousal. Therefore, when a man is not able to get an erection or maintain an erection long enough to have sexual intercourse, we face erectile dysfunction, which in slang is sometimes referred to as impotence.

It should be noted that almost all men throughout their lives sometimes experience not getting an erection, but this condition is not called erectile dysfunction until it makes it impossible for a person to have sexual function, make it impossible and cause constant dissatisfaction.

Why does erectile dysfunction occur?

Experts believe that the occurrence of erectile dysfunction is caused by organic and psychological factors.

Physical causes

Organic causes are usually the result of an underlying disease affecting the blood vessels or nerves that supply the penis, or the use of multiple prescription drugs, drugs, alcohol, smoking, or conditions such as diabetes and heart disease.

Psychological causes

Psychological factors to prevent an erection can also be related to a specific place, time, person, or slight sexual arousal. For example, a man may have an erection problem during sex with someone other than his wife; While he has no problem having sex with his wife, or another man may need a secluded environment in which there is no distraction to achieve an erection.

Sometimes not being stimulated and not getting an erection is because people, instead of focusing on the sexual stimulus (such as the presence of a spouse), focus on worrying thoughts that have filled their minds, such as “you will not succeed again.”

Stress (job, financial, marital) and anxiety may also make it difficult to achieve an erection. A man who experiences an erection may be worried about repeating it the next time. This anxiety can lead to “performance anxiety”, or the fear of sexual failure, and prevent a man from having sex.

Feelings of guilt are also one of the causes of erectile dysfunction. A man who has a negative attitude towards sex and has always considered it ugly and hated, or who consciously or unconsciously feels guilty during sex, may have an erectile dysfunction; The problem, in turn, exacerbates the guilt of a man who believes he can not provide for his wife well sexually.

Depression is a common cause of erectile dysfunction and is a painful consequence of this disorder. The man with this disorder, in addition to losing the pleasure of sexual satisfaction, is depressed because of the feeling of inadequacy and the problems that this disorder causes in his life. Low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy are also causes and consequences of erectile dysfunction, especially in men who are very sensitive to their sexual ability. Such men usually consider their ability to achieve an erection as their masculinity.

A history of childhood sexual abuse, a history of trauma, can also be linked to erectile dysfunction. What happens in a relationship between spouses can also lead to erectile dysfunction. For example, sometimes erectile dysfunction is caused by a man’s feelings of anger towards his wife; Anger that can not express it directly.

Inability to trust the spouse, pressure from the spouse, expectations of the spouse, poor communication with the spouse, and humiliation on the part of the spouse can prevent an erection. These issues, while creating anxiety and worry in spouses, gradually reduce their interest in each other and sex and even lead to their separation.

What is the solution?

Whatever the cause of erectile dysfunction, if left untreated, it can have bitter consequences. What is the solution?

Be realistic

Some people have an unrealistic expectation that their sex should be passionate and wonderful at all times. When this expectation is not met, they either become upset and angry, or withdraw and completely lose their sexual desire. While the quality of sex, the desire or stiffness of an erection varies from time to time.

Recognize the annoyances and pitfalls of a relationship

Opinions about the optimal conditions for sexual intercourse vary from person to person. For example, some people like to light candles during sex. Some people like to turn off the lights. Some are interested in sex in the morning and some at night.

On the other hand, unfavorable conditions such as crying baby, phone ringing, disagreement with the spouse in sexual intercourse also make the situation unfavorable and prevent the person from achieving an erection. Certainly the increase in factors that make sex better and the decrease in factors that prevent sex make for a pleasurable sex experience.

Although it is often difficult to identify the problematic factors in sexual arousal, especially if these factors have not previously prevented sexual intercourse, most couples can certainly improve their sex life by providing the right conditions for themselves and their spouse.

Strengthen your marriage

How much a man is in love with or in love with his wife, what his attitude is towards his wife, and how sexually attractive his wife is to him, reflects the man’s feelings and interest in sex with his wife. And sexual arousal during intercourse with him, and on the other hand, the issue of how comfortable and inclined a man’s wife feels in sexual intercourse can also affect a man’s sexual arousal and his achievement of an erection. Put. Thus, strengthening the emotional relationship and marital bonds not only leads to sexual arousal of the couple; It also makes the spouse do his or her best to prepare and bring him or her to the state of arousal.

Sepideh Danaei Monthly

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