About one-fifth of couples have sex less than ten times a year, and many of them disagree with each other about their sexual desires, and their sexual desires are not compatible with each other. This is one of the main problems of couples, because of which Consult a consultant. We have given more explanations about this. Stay with us.
“I have been married for 10 years,” says a 33-year-old employee who did not want to be named here. There have been many times that it was a blessing for us if we had sex once in three months. I have to prepare dinner after a long day at work and then put the kids to bed because my husband’s salary does not support our life and I have to work alongside him. Because of this rule that I set for my husband, sex is forbidden after 10 pm because then I want to go to bed and just sleep.
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Experts believe that the low level of sexual desire is one of the most common sexual problems of families in this century.
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It is not clear whether the libido has decreased now compared to previous years or not, but one thing is certain, and that is that women complain more! When couples go for counseling, it is the women who force the men to the psychologist’s office. And contrary to popular opinion, it is men’s libido that has gone down. In our society, it is more acceptable for a woman to have no sexual desire than a man. When it’s a man who has a low libido, it’s even more frustrating for both parties.
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Sexless marriages have become public these days. That’s why we decided to address the issue of how much sex is really considered natural? Sex experts are reluctant to define sex sufficiency because it causes many couples to think that they are not having enough sex or many others to think that they are having too much sex.
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While having sex less than 10 times a year is considered a sexless marriage, one to two times a week is considered the average amount of sex.
Unlike vitamins, sex does not have a minimum daily requirement. It would be great if both parties could come to terms with not having a problem with their marriage without sex! But usually there is the problem that one of the two parties is not satisfied with the quality or quantity of sex and is no longer willing to cope.
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Only 40% of couples say that they are satisfied with sex in their marriage. Although many medical problems or some drugs play a role in lowering libido, such as some antidepressants or some birth control pills, most of the problems are due to differences in the expectations of both parties.
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A couple who have been married for 5 years and have a 6-month-old daughter say that in today’s busy life, it is very difficult to spare time for sex. They say they are very lucky to be able to have sex 2 or 3 times a month. They usually do this when the child is asleep, but most of the time when one of them wants it, the other doesn’t want to.
Dramatic changes in the roles of men and women in recent decades have changed the expectations of marriage and, subsequently, feelings about sex.
When you look at the generation of your fathers, you will see that it was not so difficult for them. But in today’s relationships, although there is more freedom, everything has become more difficult because both parties always assign tasks to each other. Who takes out the garbage? When will the baby wake up crying? and the like. In fact, it is because of this greater freedom that conflict and incompatibility arise.
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Experts believe that in addition to stress and fatigue, anger and rage can also cause the loss of sexual relations between the two parties. Other factors in sexless marriages can be satisfying sexual desires with pornography (internet sites) or having sex with people other than the spouse. We see many men who do not have sex with their women, but they are constantly looking for porno photos and videos on the Internet.
In general, a couple’s problems are more about sexuality than sex. No couple’s desire for sex is ever complete and simultaneous. The secret is that both parties can resolve this issue between themselves.
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Many times, the party who has a lower desire for sex feels that they have been abused every time they have sex, and the party who has a higher desire is always deprived of sex, and this is the reason for the fights and arguments between them about sex. It does more and more. And this is where the sex between them slowly disappears, and when sex is no longer involved, the normal affection between them also disappears: that holding hands, laughing at each other’s jokes, sitting together on a Bench and… when relationships become so dry, infidelity and finally divorce occurs.
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Almost half of the population has to work to arouse their libido. Couples with low libido should decide to increase it. If you wait and wait for sex to happen on its own and all the situations are right for it, i.e. your child is asleep, the phone doesn’t ring, etc., sex will never happen.
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Couples should devote as much time and energy to their sex lives as they do to their work or raising their children. One of the best ways to have a good sex life with your partner is to respond well to your partner’s advances.
